The day before
Tomorrow Matt and I run the Capital Ring. 78 miles in (hopefully) 17 hours or so. I'm full of anticipation but also nervous excitement. I've slept badly all week. Anxious dreams have filled my head. I've spent time preparing and planning, reading up on the route and eating a lot of whole-wheat pasta.
This is standard for any big challenge I undertake. It starts with an idea that won't leave me. I commit to it and spend time getting ready. I'm full of positivity and hope. The day draws closer and the butterflies start to flutter. In the days building up to it I am full of stress and unease. Thoughts run through my head about what could hamper my efforts.
Finally the day comes and I'm on the start line. At this point all the worries disappear and there is nothing else I can do to prepare. I'm running and loving it.
The same process applies to every area of my life, not just running. Starting a new job, travelling to a different country, hosting a work meeting, attending a new church or club. It is a pattern I have become accustomed to. That doesn't make it any easier, but I know what is going on.
One practice that I have found helpful is visualization. Imagining the events to come in a positive and successful way. For a run I see myself feeling strong and full of energy, finishing well and with a smile on my face. If it is a meeting I visualise feeling confident and others responding well, achieving the goals set.
Tonight as I lay in bed trying to sleep before getting up when my alarm goes off at 3am, I will paint a picture in my mind of Matt and I running comfortably, our legs moving fluidly, breathing measured and eyes taking in the sights. As we approach the finish in the dark we are smiling, tired but filled with pride at what we have achieved.
Come back next week and see how accurate that image was!