Maranoia and the last run
Up to that point I had been able to use my lunch hour or club sessions with Parklands Jog & Run or Northampton Road Runners to get an eight to ten miler in. I then ran a couple of half marathons that took me up to fourteen miles. I found a few hours to put in a sixteen miler and incorporated my weekly Parkrun into my long run to stretch that to nineteen. However I was keen to complete twenty miles before race day and this weekend had been on the calendar for a while.
I woke to a wet and windy Sunday morning. Not ideal but I thought if I could run well in these conditions it couldn't be any worse on race day. I had rested the whole week prior as I had a tight groin from playing squash. It felt good to put my trainers on again but I was nervous too. I find that when I stop running, even for a short time, I get a bit anxious that I won't be able to do it again. Weird. Turns out that I could still run. It was uncomfortable at first. My muscles felt tight and my breathing laboured but after a mile that improved as my body settled back into its familiar rhythm.
I had chosen to return to a favourite route of mine along the disused railway track from Northampton towards Market Harborough. Like Manchester it is fairly flat and being track rather than concrete it is easier on the joints. I worked out that ten miles would take me as far as the Kelmarsh Tunnel. By retracing my steps I would reach my target of 20 miles.
The rain had obviously been falling for some time as the path was completely waterlogged. I started off avoiding puddles but soon realised this was futile and splashed right through them. It wasn't long before I was soaked to the skin. The wind was gusty but coming from behind so made little difference on the way out. The right side of my groin began to hurt after four miles and I felt discomfort in my right hip which is a long running problem but comes and goes. It was when my right ankle also began to hurt that full on Maranoia* set in.
The temptation to turn around was strong. One voice said it would be better to complete fourteen miles and not risk injury than push for twenty and be laid up. The other replied that I had to do twenty, if I didn't that nagging thought would pop up during the marathon and those doubts can derail a good run. (I must stress here that I am not schizophrenic but often have a battle in my head when running between my body and my mind. I think, and hope, that's normal!)
I managed to keep the argument going long enough that I arrived at the tunnel and then had no choice but to return the way I had come. I took a minute to stretch and eat a gel. Part of the reason for the run was to test how my stomach would cope with using gels. I've had mixed results in the past from no reaction to stomach cramps. This time I was fine.
The second half of the run was dreadful. I haven't had such a miserable running experience for a long time. My legs felt heavy, the pain in my groin was getting worse (although the hip and ankle seemed to resolve themselves) and the wind was driving straight towards me. In ten miles I only saw two other people who both looked as miserable as me.
The last few miles seemed to last forever. I banned myself from looking at my watch from mile 17 as it was getting too depressing. Head down and legs pumping I forced myself to fight on with the following mantra "The faster you run the quicker this ends."It worked. Checking my splits I actually managed three sub 8 minute miles from miles 17-20 in comparison with an average of 8:15 up to that point. I finished in 2:43 only a few minutes off my goal of 2:40. Given the conditions I was pleased with my performance but even more pleased to have finished. I couldn't imagine another six miles to go but I know that on the day, with the adrenaline and hopefully better weather I have a chance at breaking the three and a half barrier.
*Maranoia - Fear of something going wrong (illness, injury etc) in the weeks before a marathon.
